The Kickboxing Show Dog
by DecaTilde
Summary: Marcus falls for a Saluki who is also his mother's kickboxing student. Meanwhile, Brian is trying to cope with the fact that Barbara is going to have a third litter. An adaptation of "Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)" with some elements of VBG's unfinished "Grow Up" fanfic, and a sequel to "An Unexpected Valentine's Day".
1. News

_The Kickboxing Show Dog_

a _Family Guy _fanfic

based on Villains' Bad Girl's universe

by DecaTilde

* * *

_Author's Note:__ Before I begin, let me inform you all that this is not only a rewrite of "Grow Up", but also the official Brian and Barbara adaptation of the Season 16 episode "Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)". Brian4life wanted for Ellie, the Saluki who was introduced in the episode, to fall in love with either Ollie or Marcus. I originally intended for Ellie to be in Sheridan's stead, and for her to fall in love with Jenny, whom VBG wanted to end up as a lesbian (which I didn't expect). So, without further ado, here it is, the adaptation of "Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)"._

_The B-story of the episode will be based on that of the currently-discontinued and now non-canon "Grow Up"._

_Also, I'm sorry for not writing any new Brian and Barbara fanfics lately. My father passed away in late March, and my mother and I are doing our best to cope._

* * *

Chapter 1 - News

* * *

The sun was setting over the beach in Quahog. It was the end to any normal day for everyone, all except two special people. Brian and Barbara held hands as they walked along the beach, letting the waves splash along their feet. It was a very special moment for the two of them.

"Barbara?" Brian said as he looked down at his wife. "What are you thinking about?"

"I just can't believe we've been together", she smiled kissing his cheek. "It feels just like yesterday you found me in an alley."

"It seems just like yesterday we had our pups", he added, kissing the top of her head.

"Of course it seemed like only yesterday", Stewie said interrupting from the water.

The two dogs looked at the baby who floated in the water with an inflatable toy to keep him safe. Barbara gave a smile before turning to Brian who covered his face with his hand.

"It's only been over a year you've been together," he continued

"Remind me why we brought him again?" he sighed.

"We promised Lois we would watch over him", she shrugged.

They looked back at their pups who were watching over Stewie, having fun on the beach. Briana had taken after her father, earning her GED, and getting accepted into Brown University, despite being at a young age. Barbara and Brian couldn't be more proud of their eldest. Arnie, Briana's pit bull boyfriend, decided to go with her.

Jenny, third in the litter, decided to get a job at the local gas station food mart, just like her collie friend Sheridan.

Janet and Jonathan, their second litter, were still a little young, but Ollie and Marcus, who haven't had any luck finding jobs yet, were left with puppysitting duties for their two youngest siblings.

"I don't think I can ever thank you enough", Brian said holding her close.

"Thank me for what?" she said as she wrapped his arms around him with a smile.

"The best years of my life", he said. "Marrying me, giving me six beautiful kids. I just feel like the luckiest dog in the world. You've made me very happy."

"I can make you even happier", Barbara smiled.

His tail wagged as he looked at her, wondering what she had in mind. She held his hand as they walked back to the group.

"I have a big surprise for everyone", Barbara announced, getting everyone's attention.

Stewie came out of the water while the other seven ran to the group, as they sat on the sand. Brian sat down, looking at Barbara, waiting for her to speak. They watched as she placed her hands on her flat stomach.

"I'm going to have another litter", she said with a smile.

Everyone's jaws dropped as they looked at her shocked. Brian looked at her almost speechless until he got up.

"Puppies?" he asked. "That can't… I thought…"

"You're a mother all over again?" Arnie asked.

"Shut the front door!" Sheridan added.

"Another litter?!" Janet and Jonathan repeated.

"Ew!" Marcus said looking at them. "You guys still do that?"

* * *

_Author's Note: This chapter was originally written by VBG for "Grow Up", but I added my own touch to better fit the B-story for **this** fanfic._


	2. States of Unconsciousness

Chapter 2 - States of Unconcsiousness

* * *

"The pups looked at Barbara's stomach in amazement. They gently pressed their hands to her stomach, trying to feel anything and pressed their ears to her stomach, trying to hear anything.

"Uh, Mom," Jonathan began "why in the heck would you want to have another litter this soon? Janet and I were born pretty recently."

"Yeah," Janet agreed. "Don't you think you two are a little old to think about getting more puppies?"

"I guess you'll just have to stop thinking of your father and I as a couple of old coots", Barbara smirked at her two youngest puppies.

"Did you and Daddy really want to have more puppies?" Jenny asked.

"Jenny, we feel the same about this litter as we felt about the six of you when our first two litters were born."

The pups looked up at Brian who had his hands on his head as he paced back and forth.

"How in the hell could this have happened?" he muttered.

"Well", Briana began, "when a man and a woman love each other very much, they decide that—"

"I know how that works!" Brian said. "But, we were always so careful…"

Barbara seemed perfectly calm and happy to be carrying another litter. Brian was panicking as he walked to the dresser, grabbing his flask.

"Uh, Brian", Arnie began, raising a digit, "I think maybe we're probably gonna go outside and think about this."

"Yeah," Briana agreed with her boyfriend. "See you later, you two."

As the eight young dogs left the attic, Brian was just too nervous to care. Barbara looked at him with a peculiar look on her face.

"Are you okay, honey?" she asked.

"I thought we were done raising pups the moment Janet and Jonathan came to this world," he replied.

"Looks like my body had different plans for us", she shrugged.

"Eww", Brian said. "Barbara, are you even sure you're pregnant? Have you seen a vet?"

"Brian…" Barbara said trying to calm him down.

"Briana's going to college", he continued. "How can we afford to send her to school and afford to take care of these new pups, especially with Jenny about to get a job? She might not make enough."

"Brian…"

"Ollie and Marcus have no plans on leaving yet, and our second litter is still too young. We're probably not going to have enough room to keep them all."

"Brian!" Barbara shouted, showing him a piece of paper.

He stopped as he looked at the small picture. It was an ultrasound showing a large mass of shadows. The date was a few days ago. Barbara was indeed pregnant. With the picture in his hands, Brian fainted away, hitting the floor.

"Brian?" she said looking at him.

* * *

"Well, whatever you decide, guys," Sheridan began, "we'll keep in touch, just in case."

"Thanks, Sheridan," Jenny replied, shaking her paw. Marcus was just as nervous as Brian, too much to think about what to do.

"We'll see you guys later," Arnie said as Sheridan let go. "Sheridan, you want me to drive you to your apartment on the way to work?"

"Of course," Sheridan answered.

As soon as Sheridan rode off with Arnie in his blue car, Marcus, still nervous, was too busy to notice that he started to eat from a box of chocolate.

"Uh, Marcus," Jonathan began, "you're eating chocolate, and that's poisonous to dogs."

Marcus stopped and realized what he was doing.

"Uh-oh," he feared. "I better stop before I—"

Before he could continue, he threw up and passed out over his filth.

Briana pressed a digit over his throat in panic. "Guys, get Peter and Lois," she told the rest. "We're taking Marcus to the vet, and we need to act fast if we're to save him."

"Uh, kids?"

The five looked as Barbara suddenly appeared with a still-unconscious Brian.

"Marcus isn't the _only_ one that needs the vet."

As she pointed at Brian, the five had understandable looks on their faces.


	3. Ellie

Chapter 3 - Ellie

* * *

Peter and Lois drove the dogs all the way to the veterinary clinic just in time. Overtime, Brian recovered after being splashed with water. Marcus had _his_ operation as well, and lived through it.

"You were very lucky, Marcus," the vet said. "We managed to pump your stomach just in time."

"Phew," Marcus sighed, "what a relief."

"I had him pump _my_ stomach, too," Peter replied. "Doc, what was in there?"

"Well, it's a pretty extensive list," the vet replied. "I'm gonna need Billy Joel to help me out."

With that, famous singer Billy Joel had to sing Peter's diagnosis.

"Lots of Legos, rubber bands,

web-shooting Spider-Man

An old pet rock, an antique clock,

a ton of red Play-Doh

Colored pencils, lots of nickels

Half a jar of Vlasic Pickles

Banjo strings, chicken wings,

Cassingle by Skee-Lo"

Peter joined in.

"I didn't poop those items

They were in my tummy

'cause they all looked yummy"

Billy continued.

"He didn't poop those items

He tried to eat 'em,

so you shouldn't feed him."

The song ended.

"Wow, that was great, Billy!" Peter complimented. "Hey, does anyone call you Bill Joel or William Joel?"

"Uh, no, Billy answered. "Does anyone call you Petey Griffin?"

"No, they don't," Peter answered back, "because I'm an adult, which is kind of what I was getting at."

"Do we have to pay you or anything?" Lois asked the vet.

"For Marcus, yes," the vet replied, "but for Brian, no. Finding out a dog's going to be a father again is pretty common for fainting to be a reaction."

* * *

Marcus went to the front counter to pick up his medicine when he noticed a Christmas card on the bulletin board.

"Why would anyone send a Christmas card to their vet?"

"I know," a female voice said, getting his attention. "It's so lame, right?"

The owner of the voice, a young adult girl Saluki with a light orange fur coat and an amethyst violet collar around her neck, was standing in front of him.

"And did you see the lady outside with the empty cat carrier?" she continued, pointing outside with her thumb digit. "Ugh, cry much?"

"Heh-heh," Marcus chuckled in agreement. "She must think that thing actually loved her. Nice to meet you," he offered a paw shake. "I'm Marcus Griffin."

"Oh, you must be the youngest in Brian and Barbara's first litter," she replied, shaking his paw. "Pleased to meet _you_, too. I'm your mother's student, Ellie."

"Hi, Ellie," Marcus greeted. "What are _you_ in for?"

"I got this small cut on one of my back feet," she replied, showing him her bandaged left back foot, "And they had to bandage it. I also had to get a prescription filled. You know, Marcus, you seem really cute. Do you want to continue this sometime? I'll give you my number."

Ellie turned the silver diamond tag on her collar around so she could give him her phone number. Marcus got his phone out and typed it in.

"Got it," he said.

After the receptionist gave Ellie her medicine, she started to walk away, flirting with him.

"See you around, Marcus," she said.

"Definitely," Marcus replied, wooing her. "Later, Ellie."

Marcus waved at her while she continued to walk off with her medicine.

"Ooh, way to go, Marcus," Janet said, suddenly getting his attention from behind with Jonathan.

"Looks like you've fallen for a cougar," Jonathan added.

"She's not a cougar," Marcus corrected nervously. "She's a dog."

"Marcus," Briana began, coming out of the operating room, "cougars _are_ older females that young males are attracted to. It's a double entendre." This surprised Marcus so much, his eyes widened. "You should let Mom and Dad know about it sometime."


	4. Coping, and Meeting Ellie

Chapter 4 - Coping, and Meeting Ellie

* * *

"So, how did Brian take the news?" Lois asked. We are back home.

"About as well as could be expected", Barbara answered. "Did Peter give you any trouble when _you_ got pregnant?"

"All the time", she said nonchalantly.

The two women sat at the table enjoying some tea as they discussed the new litter. This was the second time Brian didn't expect Barbara being pregnant, only this time, she didn't know what to do. Lois took a sip of tea, unable to offer any help.

"Where's Brian right now?" she asked.

"Backyard with Stewie. How did you feel when you were pregnant and Peter panicked?"

"With Meg, I panicked with Peter and tried to get an abortion. But, when I had Chris and Stewie, I was more relaxed. I just repressed Peter's immature behavior."

"I don't know if I'm going to do that…" Barbara slowly said hearing how horrible Lois was.

* * *

Brian paced in the backyard as Stewie sat in a small chair, watching him. He held a crayon and a coloring book in his hand, pretending to be a therapist.

"No, why don't you tell me what's troubling you?" he suggested.

"Puppies…" Brian said as he picked up his flask, taking a drink. "More puppies are on the way."

"I thought you loved puppies?"

"I do, but Stewie, I'm eight years old! 56 in human years! I'm too old to be raising another litter!"

"What do you plan on doing about it?" Stewie asked.

"I don't know what to do. I can't tell Barbara to get an abortion. That would destroy her. She would just hate me."

"You mean she doesn't already?" he asked raising his eyebrow.

"I'm serious!" Brian said. "I don't know how to handle this."

"Hey, Buddy", Peter said coming outside. "I just heard the news. Barbara making your life a living hell?"

"Huh?"

"Lois does the same to me", he said. "Come on, let's go to the Clam. You could use a drink."

"No thank you, Peter," Brian replied.

"Okay then," Peter shrugged as he walked away. "Suit yourself."

As Brian watched Peter drive off to the Clam, Marcus stepped outside to talk to him.

"Uh, Dad?" He got his father's attention. "There's this Saluki I met today, named Ellie." Brian's eyes widened at this. "She hinted that she knows you and Mom, when we introduced each other. How did you two know _her_?"

"Well," Brian began, "it all started when we visited Sheridan's parents in their apartment a few months ago..."

* * *

_We are all treated to a flashback of what happened the past few months. In Apartment 36 of Lou's building, New Brian and his mate Annabelle were given a visit from Brian and Barbara, both collarless at the time, with the former in a wheelchair and a cast on his back right leg._

_"Brian, I'm sorry about you losing your job," New Brian comforted, "what with the status of your co-woker, Martha, and everything. So, how long is that leg of yours going to heal?"_

_"Dr. Hartman said that it's going to take a few weeks," Brian answered. "The less I move, the better it'll heal."_

_"If nothing bad ever happens to him first," Barbara added. "And just when you thought that social pariah episode wasn't bad enough."_

_"N.B. and I don't pay too much attention to social media nowadays, hon," Annabelle replied. "But if we do, we often brag about the good progress that our little Sherry is making."_

_Just then, there was a knock on the door. New Brian walked over and saw that Ellie was standing outside,_

_"Hey, big brother," Ellie waved. "How have you and Annie been doing? I don't get much mail from you recently."_

_She stopped short and noticed Brian and Barbara. She then started barking at them._

_"Easy, Eleanor," New Brian calmed before she stopped barking._

_"Sorry," Ellie apologized. "I'm still not yet over my habit of barking at some strange dogs I haven't seen before."_

_"Oh, right," New Brian replied, nervously. "Where the heck are my manners? Come on inside and I'll introduce you."_

_Ellie followed New Brian to Brian and Barbara._

_"Brian, Barbara," New Brian began, "I'd like you to meet my little sister litter mate, Eleanor. Ellie for short."_

_"You look more like a Saluki than a Grey Border Collie to me," Barbara noticed._

_"Well, Dad's a Saluki and Mom's a Border Collie," Ellie explained. "It's a phase in litters of two."_

_"Ellie," New Brian continued, "this is my friend Barbara from the dog-fighting kennel, and her mate Brian."_

_"Hi, nice to meet you two," Ellie greeted._

_"Hi," Brian and Barbara greeted back._

_"I didn't think you had a little sister, New Brian," Brian said._

_"I don't talk about her much," New Brian replied._

_"So," Ellie began to Barbara, "N.B. tells me that you were involved in a match against a young white pit bull."_

_"Well," Barbara replied, nervously, "losing the match was one thing. Surviving it was another, and how I met Brian. We've raised a couple litters, with the first one, of four, back in our apartment. Their names are Briana, Ollie, Jenny and Marcus. Maybe you should meet them sometime."_

_"Yeah, maybe I should," Ellie replied. "Anyway, I do enjoy being a show dog sometimes, but I'm looking for a new challenge. Dog-fighting kennels aren't really my thing, so I thought maybe I'd try kickboxing."_

_"Hmmm, that does sound like a good idea, Ellie," Barbara said, after thinking about it. "I mean, it is a good way to avoid being bitten by meaner and more vicious dogs than you."_

_"Believe me, I wouldn't want mean or vicious," Ellie shrugged. "So kickboxing is a good way to exercise. When do you think would be a good time for you to start teaching me?"_

_"Wednesday, on the roof, if you're available," Barbara shrugged._

_"Okay then," Ellie replied. "I'll be ready for my first lesson then."_

_"Good," Barbara shook Ellie's paw. "But don't post about this online or anything. Brian and I are still social pariahs."_

_"Social pariahs?" Ellie repeated._

_Brian replied, "I posted a racial tweet under the handle d0gbackwards. Long story."_

_"Oh, that's okay," Ellie shrugged. "We dogs don't understand social media, anyway."_

* * *

"And that's how we met Ellie, Marcus," Brian finished. "I just didn't yet have the heart to tell her that we weren't pariahs anymore, or that I changed my handle to wh1te_labrad0r."

"Has Mom changed _her_ handle?" Marcus asked.

"Nope," Brian shook his head. "She's keeping her handle the same."

"Oh," Marcus replied. "Well, anyway, Ellie's coming over to meet the rest of the litter mates and the second litter. We're planning on going over to the art museum to look at the paintings."

* * *

_Author's Note: This chapter, at the beginning, has most elements from the beginning of "Coping", chapter 3 of "Grow Up", while the flashback takes place during the upcoming "Brian Moves Out" trilogy adaptations, which will act as prequels to this fanfic._

_Also, a special birthday shoutout to VBG. Hope you have a good one._


	5. Ellie's Visit

Chapter 5 - Ellie's Visit

* * *

Later that day, Ellie came over for another one of Barbara's lessons. After finishing up said lesson, Marcus decided to show her his siblings.

"I think you're going to like them", Marcus said. "Once you get past how dumb our owners are, you'll see just how funny everyone can be."

Ellie could handle funny people, but what mattered to her most was if the people were kind and knew how to treat dogs with respect. She chuckled a bit.

"Doesn't bother you, does it?" Marcus asked.

"No, not at all", Ellie answered.

She followed Marcus up the stairs to the attic. She was greeted with the sight of five other dogs doing their own thing. She watched as Briana walked to them.

"Hi, you must be Ellie," Brianna greeted with a smile. "I'm Briana, one of Marcus' sisters."

Ellie smiled back. So far, she liked the dogs better than the people. Jenny walked to them, smiling as well, wagging her tail.

"Ellie, huh?" she said. "That's such a beautiful name. My name's Jennifer. Call me Jenny for short."

"Your name is beautiful, too", Ellie chuckled, noticing how adorable Jenny was in a funny way.

"Mohmahntai," Ollie walked to Jenny.

"Why _should_ I worry, Ollie?" Jenny asked her older brother.

"Oh, you speak Cantonese?" Ellie asked. "I had no idea a dog like you could speak a second language."

"Well, I _have_ been hitting Stewie's books," Ollie replied. "The name's Oliver, by the way. You can call me Ollie, for short. If Marcus gives you any trouble, you just come to me."

"I'm not giving Ellie any trouble, Ollie," Marcus replied. "I'm just showing Ellie around."

Janet and Jonathan were the last of the siblings to greet her.

"These two are Janet and Jonathan," Marcus continued. "They're the second litter."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Ellie," Jonathan greeted.

"Just Ellie is fine," Ellie is fine.

"I'd let you meet our friends Sheridan and Arnie," Marcus got her attention, "but they're currently at work."

"Arnie is the one with a job, Marcus, remember that," Briana replied.

"That's all right," Ellie said to Marcus. "I wouldn't mind seeing them another time. Perhaps we should go to the art museum to look at the fine art today."

"If that's what you want," Marcus replied.

"Maybe your dad could drive us there?"

"Sounds great. I'll go ask him."

* * *

_Author's Note: Sorry for the near-ten-month delay, everyone. Among the pandemic, there were many other things I didn't expect. Anyway, this is a re-write of the chapter "You?" from "Grow Up"._


End file.
